What the Heck Madonna???

TMZ photo

In the spirit of giving and caring and sharing and being a kind and decent person, Madonna has decided to do something nice for her Manhattan neighbors.

Wait. That doesn’t sound right.

Here’s the real news. Sadly, it’s no surprise that the Material Girl has up and decided that she’s ENTITLED ( my very least favorite thing in the world) to whatever she wants. Because she’s Madonna!

Okay, so before I go on to share this gross story, please remember that you know how much I hate writing about the negative things in life. But darn it sometimes attention must be called.

The world’s highest grossing solo artist has not only taken it upon herself to post fake no parking/tow signs all around the public parking spaces near her Upper East Side triple townhouse on East  81st Street, the “Rebel Heart” performer is obnoxiously defiant about it.

Hey, I lived in the city. I know what it’s like to circle around and around the block looking for a space. Soooo, though I think what she did was over the line, I can understand the frustration and could ALMOST applaud the ingenuity, even though her plush pad comes with not one but TWO garages. But, that was before she went and did this super despicable thing.

After being cited by the city for illegally posting five “Tenant Parking Only” signs and defacing the curb outside the property she bought for almost $40 million a few years back, this week the Hamptons part-timer showed just how woefully self-centered she is. And also appallingly bad at sentence structure, grammar and punctuation.

Here’s what she posted on Instagram:

  • madonnaYes Bishes I am Madonna and that is my driveway and if people park in front of it i cant drive in my driveway! So sorry the city doesn’t like the color yellow! We will paint a nice dull grey to keep our neighbors happy! Sorry😔! Im saying 3 extra Hail Mary’s this Easter for this transgression!

This is not the only time that Madonna has shown her aggressive avarice. There are too many stories of her bad behavior to relate but just last year she was called out for collecting a whopping tax break for planting buffer trees all around her Bridgehampton horse farm and calling the plantings a tree nursery. Yuck. Being a selfish brat is bad enough in your teens and early 20s but she’s close to 60 now. It’s time to grow up.

Hamptons To Represent at the Grammys on Sunday

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The 57th annual Grammy Awards will be broadcast this Sunday, starting at 5 p.m., live from the Staples Center in LA. Once again, our East End will be well represented during the show.

Amagansett’s Paul McCartney will perform “FourFiveSeconds” with Rihanna and last summer’s North Sea visiting renter Kanye West. I applaud Sir Paul for keeping it current but personally I much prefer his earlier work with those lesser-known (ha) lads from across the pond.

Water Mill’s Madonna will sing “Living for Love,” which is from her latest, “Rebel Heart.” I like her older stuff better too. Perhaps I am getting too old for the Grammys? My first sign was that I can’t stay up late enough to watch the entire broadcast; the second was that I don’t know who at least half the nominees are. Oy.

Bridgehampton summerer Beyonce, who is nominated for Album of the Year and a few other significant awards, will join Common and Legend for a rendition of the gospel song “Take My Hand, Precious Lord.” Another sign that I’m becoming a real fuddy-duddy — I’m offended by anything associated with “50 Shades of Grey” and do not like the “Crazy in Love” remake they keep playing with the trailer on TV. Perhaps I should take my Geritol now, as apparently I’m getting feisty.

Amagansett’s Chris Martin, whose Coldplay is nominated for Best Pop Duo/Group Performance and Best Vocal Album, is also scheduled to perform. He’s tall. And nice. And “Yellow” is one of my favorite love songs. See, I’m not a complete curmudgeon.

Taylor Swift, who apparently just spent a girls’ weekend here, is nominated for a number of awards. She is not scheduled to perform but will present Best New Artist award.

Wishing good fortune on Barry Manilow, who once sat in front of me (WITH Lorna Luft–I was in HEAVEN!!)  at a Bay Street Theater production of “Big Maybelle,” as he is up for Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album. Also to Dianne Reeves, a super lady who I interviewed back in the day to advance her concert at the Westhampton Beach Performing Arts Center, who is nominated for Best Jazz Vocal Album.

Billy Joel, Alec Baldwin, Madonna and More

Billy Joel, Alec Baldwin, Madonna and More

It’s been a busy past week for Hamptons notables, including this Hamptons Party Girl–though not necessarily notable but definitely burning the candle at both ends of late. As a result, we’ve got lots and lots to catch up on.
Billy Joel has been all over the news lately. It’s been reported that he’s selling one of his Hamptons homes. NOT the one in Sag Harbor, thank goodness, but the oceanfront Sagaponack house that he bought from Roy Scheider in 2007. He’s also gone viral for his two-man doo-wop bit with Sagaponack’s Jimmy Fallon, covering The Tokens’ “Lion Sleeps Tonight” on “The Tonight Show.” I dare you to watch that and not smile.
Alec Baldwin has apparently just bought another Hamptons home, This one’s an East Hampton mansion to complement the Amagansett farmhouse that he owns. I have been hearing not-so-quiet whispers that he’s interested in jettisoning the older estate in favor of his newest purchase. I’m just glad that he’s not leaving the East End.
Then there’s Madonna. The Bridgehampton resident posted a photo of herself on Instagram last week with some (ahem) spectacular new growth. Apparently she is proud to not be follicularly challenged. First the gold grill and now this. I don’t get it, AT ALL, but it’s not like she needs to run her life choices past me. Soooo … to each his or her own.
Lastly, and bear with me on this one because it’s a tangent, but I was watching the film “Hitchcock” last week and was interested to learn something new, so I thought I’d share it with you. There are a couple of scenes in the film about Hitch trying to sell Paramount studio head Barney Balaban on “Psycho,” which intrigued me. With that last name I just had to look to look it up. Turns out that Barney (who in addition to being Paramount’s president from 1936 to 1964, also incidentally bought one of the 14 original copies of the Bill of Rights and then donated it to the Library of Congress) was none other than the uncle of Bridgehampton’s Bob Balaban. Cool. I love learning new things.
Happy Tuesday.
*Photo by me of Billy Joel, Bob DeLuca and Alec Baldwin at a Group for the East End fundraiser.

Killer Hamptons Grammy Moments

Killer Hamptons Grammy Moments

Love, love, loved this year’s collaborative approach at the Grammys.
It seemed is if the theme for the songs up for awards this year and the actual awards show itself were tailor-made for one another–a whole lotta peace, love and acceptance were going on. Who doesn’t stand behind that?
My personal favorite moment was the “Get Lucky” collaboration between Hamptons everywhere man from this past summer, Nile Rodgers (I took this photo of him at East Hampton Library’s Authors Night and he also was instrumental in the success of the rockin’ All For the East End concert), Stevie Wonder (mentor to Sag Harbor’s own Dylan Jenet Collins, who was also at the Grammys–yay for her!), Pharrell Williams and Daft Punk. That was cool. Congrats on the Album of the Year.
Little known fact. Everyone knows that Nile was the man behind Chic but did you know that he also played guitar in The Honeydrippers. Yep, look it up.
Of course Sir Paul McCartney (Amagansett–and next-door-neighbor to one of my good friends) also won another Grammy (with Dave Grohl, et al for Best Rock Song). His performance with Ringo Starr was highly anticipated, though I wish he would’ve sung a ballad.I’m a fool for silly love songs.
Did anyone else catch another East Ender, G.E. Smith, (at least I’m pretty sure it was him) sitting next to Nancy during that performance? Need to confirm that …
Meanwhile, I can’t wait for the Grammy tribute to the Beatles on February 9. That should be awesome.
Congrats to Jay Z for winning for “Holy Grail.” He and wife, Beyoncé, opened the show with “Drunk in Love.” Not my thing but it seemed to be a real crowd pleasure. Why does she have to look like a stripper on the stage and he’s wearing a three-piece suit? And am I the only person who doesn’t get the whole “surfboard” and seeming random spoken and oft-repeated words? Oh well, I’ll admit that I can be an old fuddy duddy.They are both extremely talented and definitely bring a breath of life out here to the Hamptons.
On the other hand, I really enjoyed that Katy Perry (she hung out here this past summer, riding her bike to and fro) kept her clothes on while performing. The gothic set and imagery were worthy of Broadway.
It was also cool to see that Gary Clarke Jr. won a Grammy for “Please Come Home.” He brought down the house when he played the Westhampton Beach Performing Arts Center in 2012.
Def Jam’s Russell Simmons (he sold his East Hampton house this past year for $7 million) got a quick shout from host LL Cool J. Hard to believe that the label that pretty much created hip hop is celebrating its 30th anniversary.
The Lou Reed tribute (he lived in Springs with his beautiful and talented wife, Laurie Anderson) was too brief but Jared Leto rightly said that “the world lost a genius” when he died last year.
Lastly, I’m so glad that Water Mill’s Madonna didn’t do anything controversial during her time on stage with Queen Latifah, Macklemore, Ryan Lewis and Mary Lambert. The “Same Love” performance and wedding ceremony brought tears to my eyes. Job well done.
Good night and good Grammys.

Hamptons Screen Savers: East Enders in the Spotlight

Hamptons Screen Savers: East Enders in the Spotlight

Southampton’s Barbara Walters will be the recipient of the Literary-Media Arts Award at Guild Hall’s Academy of the Arts Lifetime Achievement Awards on March 10. Page Six of the New York Post has also reported that Blythe Danner (is she in East Hampton or Amagansett? I’m not precisely sure) will be honored during the event. Awaiting official confirmation on that one.
Of course Bridgehampton’s Madonna has been in the news for all sorts of things recently–using the ‘N’ word on Instagram, pulling it off and replacing it with a message that read ‘get off my dick haters,’ injuring her foot while dancing, and then the inconsequential matter of performing at the upcoming Grammys on January 26.
Beyoncé, is also expected to perform at the music awards ceremony. I’m guessing that she will carpool with husband, Jay Z, who has been nominated for nine awards. The two have rented in East Hampton, Wainscott and Bridgehampton in summers past.
Bridgehampton’s Bob Balaban is on two screens right now: he’s got a recurring role as Dr. Rice on “Girls” and will play Preston Savitz on George Clooney’s soon-to-be-released “The Monuments Men.”
Montauker Ralph Macchio will co-star on “Psych” next Wednesday. What a nice man. Looking forward to seeing him on the small screen.
Speaking of “Psych,” Celia Weston (you’ll remember her from “Junebug” or as Mother Tucker on “Modern Family”) was just on this last episode on Wednesday, January 15. I don’t think she’s got a place out here but I met her a couple of times this past summer at events in East Hampton.
Blondie, who has performed at the Westhampton Beach Performing Arts Center, followed up her Punk Challenge appearance on “Project Runway” with a surprise telephone call on the reunion special this past Thursday.
I’ve been hearing whispers that Matt Damon and Ben Affleck will be reunited in “A Speck in the Sea,” a film about lobsterman John Aldridge, who fell out of his boat 40 miles off Montauk last summer and survived by using his boots as flotation devices. Interesting.
We all know that Jimmy Fallon will be replacing Jay Leno on “The Tonight Show” come February 17. I’m guessing there will be more opportunities for the family to visit their home in Sagaponack since the show is moving to New York.
Lastly, though he’s denied that there will be a “Seinfeld” reunion, something’s in the works (Super Bowl ad, “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee,” etc.??) with East Hampton’s Jerry Seinfeld. He, Jason Alexander AND Larry David were all spotted around Tom’s Restaurant (aka Monk’s) in Manhattan on Monday.
I guess that’s enough Hampton’s Screen Saver scuttlebutt for now. Happy Saturday!

* Wiki photo of Barbara Walters.

Howard Stern Keeps On Working

Howard Stern Keeps On Working

Southampton resident Howard Stern announced on his SiriusXM show on Tuesday morning that he will return as a judge for “America’s Got Talent.” He said that he had to seriously mull over whether or not he wanted to continue as the TV gig did cut into his free time.
The bad boy Howard of yesteryear has certainly mellowed. I remember when he wasn’t even really allowed to be on TV aside from David Letterman because he was so unpredictable and naughty. That’s definitely changed over the last few years.
Evidence: this Tweet response from Howard to Nick Cannon
“Always great to work with you rt @NickCannon: It’s official! America’s judge, @HowardStern returns to agt gonna be another naughty season!”
One would think that the old Howard would’ve eaten Nick Cannon for breakfast, but now apparently they are Twitter pals. Funny.
Part of it is age and maturity–the only person who has remained, ahem edgy, into grown-up years is Madonna, and I don’t personally think that’s a good thing–and part of it has to be the influence of his lovely wife, Beth. She is truly a radiant and good human being.
I liked the nasty Howard back when I was in my 20s and new to Manhattan. But I love the more circumspect man he’s become.
I took this photo of Howard and Beth at the La Palestra kids event this summer.

Madonna Moving Forward with Hamptons Manse

Madonna Moving Forward with Hamptons Manse

The Material Girl is making good on her moniker, having acquired not only a 26-acre Bridgehampton horse farm back in 2009 but now expanding on an adjacent property, also on Mitchell Lane.
The New York Post broke the most recent news that Madonna is erecting a two-story, eight bedroom mansion next to the Wild Ocean Farm, which she bought from Kelly Klein close to four years ago. That property, though huge, was not residentially buildable and is zoned agriculturally restricted.
The new spread, which it’s been reported that Miss Madge bought in 2010 for $2 million, is rumored to be being built by Bridgehampton-based Farrell Building Company.
You might recall that I recently posted a blog entry about the Farrellization of the Hamptons. Check it out, I think it’s kind of interesting.
It’s also been reported that Madonna was censured by Suffolk County (which co-owns development rights to the land) back in September for building an access road between the two properties, which was in violation of county preservation laws. I’m not sure what the outcome is there quite yet.
For those interested in a little history lesson, this is a perfect example of how life has changed in the Hamptons over that last few decades. Before Kelly Klein bought the horse farm, it was owned by a lifetime East Ender, whose parents bought the land in 1928 after immigrating from Poland. The used the plot to grow potatoes, which were once the most prolific crop on the East End.
The land was sold by the farming family’s son, Benny Graboski, a few decades after he took over the property in 1955 when his father died.
The next owner of the land was actress Stefanie Powers, of “Hart to Hart” fame, and her cousin, Geri Bauer. They kept horses on the property, as did Kelly Klein.
Then Madonna, who started coming out here while visiting photographer Steven Klein at his West Kill Farm, bought it for several million. I don’t think there are any potatoes left on that little plot of land. Come to think of it, does Madonna even allow potatoes anywhere near her?
The Hamptons have, for the last 100 years or so, been known as the home of artists and writers. It most definitely still is; it’s just that the ones who can afford to live here are not the same pecuniarily- (Is that a word? It is now) challenged ones who struck out here back in the days of Jackson Pollock and his near-penniless cohorts. Except for me, of course.