Gwyneth Paltrow and Howard Stern

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Much has been made of Gwyneth’s chat with Howard Stern on his Sirius XM show on Wednesday. Look, I get the whole idea of search engine optimization (thus all the web headlines about oral sex) and I also understand that not everyone on the planet has to love our gal, but I’m pretty put off by all this ridiculousness.

So let’s get the silliness out of the way first. Yes, the Oscar-wining actor talked about blow jobs with the King of All Media. It is Howard Stern after all. The portion of the interview that has gotten the most attention came around minute 59 of the hour-and-five-minute broadcast. It was in response to advice that Gwyneth gave her friend, talk show host Chelsea Handler, about staving off fights in a romantic relationship. The gist of which was, in Gwyneth’s words, “Be a girl. Show him that he’s a man” by energetically giving oral pleasure.

She also made a joke about how a man’s confidence could be measured by the amount of such. “It depends on how many blow jobs you give them,” she laughed to Howard when he mused that it’s got to be hard on a man’s ego when he’s dating such an accomplished woman.

Lastly, on the matter, Gwyneth said she turned down the part of Roller Girl in “Boogie Nights” because of sensitivity to her family.
“I can’t be totally naked and giving a BJ on screen, it would kill my grandfather,” she said.

Was it kind of shocking to hear this regal gal talking about this particular subject? Sure. A little. Was it also scintillating to talk about sex, especially when it comes to famous and beautiful people? You betcha. But there’s so much more to the interview. Howard did a great job in reining himself in, except for when he talked about masturbating while thinking about Blythe Danner. Again, he is Howard after all. But, as a matter of fact, the entire talk brought to light that Gwyneth is not only a real person, she’s pretty cool. Having briefly been in the same room a few times, I have always had good feelings about her, and this interview made me like her more. I really don’t get the haters.

The point of Paltrow’s visit to The Howard Stern Show was to promote her new film, “Mortdecai,” in which she co-stars with Johnny Depp. They did eventually get around to that, in the last 15 minutes or so. Based on what she said about the comedy, I will now go see this film It sounds fun.

Briefly, here’s what else Gwyneth and Howard talked about:

* Blythe Danner, who sometimes has trouble remembering lines, taping hers to the inner thigh of a fellow actor to whom she was examining while playing a gynecologist on a television show. I laughed out loud when I heard that one. Good stuff.

* She never thought about the attention and extreme scrutiny that would be paid to naming her daughter Apple (actually Chris Martin came up with the name) or in using the term “conscious uncoupling” for her amicable separation from her husband. “Just get me to shut the fuck up,” she laughed about indirectly creating the media firestorms.

* Robert Downey Jr. – brilliant, complicated, funny, warm. “I love being with him,” Gwyneth said. She also noted that he, Sean Penn, Johhny Depp, and Daniel Day Lewis are “the highest level” of artists. Depp is brilliant, an icon and so cool. “I am not cool enough” for him, she said.

* Cameron Diaz, “Jay” (as Gwyneth calls him) and Beyonce are her best famous friends. BUT most of her friends, including her best friend, are not in the limelight and are long-term friends.

* Steven Spielberg is her godfather. He also cast her in “Hook.”

* “When Harry Met Sally” is her favorite film. She was so star-struck by Meg Ryan when they worked together in “Flesh and Bone” that she had to pull it together to not act nerdy. Cute.

* She turned down “Titanic,” which Howard brought up. Gwyneth said that her mom says it’s unladylike to talk about roles she’s turned down.

* On past loves: Brad Pitt is “so gorgeous and sweet” and “too good for her.” Ben Affleck is “super intelligent, really talented and funny.” Chris Martin wrote “Fix You” about “trying to put me back together after my dad died.” He, by the way, is “a really, really good dad,” she says.

* As for Howard, she admitted that she started listening to him in the eighth grade and was afraid to come on his show. But now that she’s done it, she’d like to come back and do it again.

I could go on and on with more interesting stuff from the interview but why don’t you listen for yourself. Here’s the link:

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