Stop Hating on Gwyneth

Stop Hating on Gwyneth

Okay, so everyone in the free world has heard about Gwyneth Paltrow’s and Chris Martin’s split and has a snarky thing or two to say about “conscious uncoupling.” Well, here’s what I have to say to all the haters: take a look in the mirror, and grow a little compassion while you’re at it.
Look, I know that Gwyneth can be polarizing. She rubs many the wrong way with Goop, and apparently just because of her mere existence. I don’t get it.
The attacks are almost always about her lifestyle, wealth, diet and appearance. Now people are actually gleeful because the woman’s marriage broke up? And they are calling her parenting into question? That’s freaking heartless.
Why is a crime to be successful? And what’s so terrible about eating right and taking care of your body and mind? Or trying to ensure the least possible damage to your children’s psyches during what is guaranteed to be an emotionally damaging time?
I’ve read the much reviled release and it seems to me to be coming from a place of care and compassion. So why all the schadenfreude? The bottom line is that divorce sucks, but I applaud this uncoupling couple for trying to do the right thing for the sake of their children.
Those who think that Gwyneth is smug have a right to their opinions, but isn’t is just as smug (and cruel) to assume this stuff when you haven’t actually met her? Isn’t it ugly and heartless to revel in someone else’s misery? And why? Think about what it is that so rubs you the wrong way: she’s too privileged, too rich, too thin, too Zen?
Why do you care? How does her happiness or unhappiness affect your life? Does the success of others make you feel like a failure? Do their failures make you feel good about yourself? Time to ponder …
I’ve been in Gwyneth’s presence exactly twice–once a million and two years ago in the city (before her macrobiotic days, in the Brad era) and again this past summer at Authors Night at the East Hampton Library. You know what? She was pleasant and accessible both times. And let me tell you something else; she used to be tall and lanky but basically had an okay body back in the day; now she’s in amazing shape! She’s doing something right alright. And her children are well behaved, regular little kids who seem to be healthy and happy. That’s them in the picture, taken by my friend Lisa Tamburini (thanks for the photo Lisa!) at Author’s Night 2013.
Sure, money and success can help ease a blow but they can’t eradicate one’s ability to feel pain. Instead of jumping on the bandwagon of mean-spirited spitefulness, let’s instead practice some kindness and compassion to one another. Happy Thursday.
*Lisa Tamburini photo.


  1. Dawn, I am sure Gwyneth is a very nice person and wants to protect her kids from harm. The reason she rubs people the wrong way is not about who she is but the way she goes about it. As Jessica Grose argues in her excellent article in Slate, in Paltrow’s announcement “there is no admission of pain (besides a nod to “hearts full of sadness”) or any other emotion that might be messy, inconvenient, or real.” These are some of the the same reasons the public loves Jennifer Lawrence. Because she seems REAL to us, not just a steward for her BRAND. With Gwyneth we feel like we are being constantly sold and there is always a place at the end to enter our credit card information. She subsumes her rights as a private person into a product sell and we are left with buyers remorse.


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